From Worry to Comfort Again: A Conversation with Liz

Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Liz, a long-time user of Pleage’s HydraHer, to talk about her experience…

When we started talking, I could feel how much she’d carried on her own. Not just the physical discomfort, but the silence around it. The way it can sit in the background of your life and make you feel like you’re the only one dealing with it.

Samantha:

Thank you for being here. To start, can you share a bit about your life and where you were starting this journey from?

Liz:

I’m turning 50 in the next few months. It’s exciting and it’s scary. Earlier today I was looking at photos from 10 years ago and I was slim and nice. I’d been working out and feeling very good.

I’m a mother of three children. I got divorced in 2016 after 16 years of an abusive marriage. I left that marriage broken.

Intimacy became very complicated. The divorce process broke me completely, so I couldn’t think of doing anything else for a long time.

After some time with therapy and consultations, I healed from the trauma and decided, okay, let me see if I can date someone and start again.

It wasn’t easy.

Samantha:

After 16 years of marriage, getting back into dating can feel like a lot.

Liz:

Yes. Eventually I met somebody and we started off. It was interesting because in the beginning, you’re learning somebody new and you have to figure out many things.

My biggest challenge, in a positive way, was that after an abusive marriage where I was told no man would ever look at me, I ended up dating a younger man. He’s 10 years younger than me.

It started okay, and after about a year we moved in together. I kept working out, intimacy was fine, I traveled a lot, I did a lot of stuff. I was physically fit, so no big deal.

But in the past three years, I got into a job that was highly stressful. Highly stressful. I had limited time for myself.

So I put on weight, an extra 15 kilos. I couldn’t work out. I would just eat whatever I came across. Things changed.

At first I thought, maybe it’s just because I’ve put on weight. But then intimacy became very complicated, and I started having different feelings. The discomfort that came with dryness.

I tried different things. I went to see the doctor and I got prescriptions. It just wasn’t working.

And at times you’re given something that smells medical. It kills the mood because then the entire room smells like a clinic.

Samantha:

That “clinic smell” is something I hear more often than people would think.

Liz:

And unfortunately, some of these things are not easy to discuss with your girlfriends. You don’t just have a drink and talk about dryness.

Even discussing perimenopausal challenges or menopausal challenges is a big issue.

Most of my close friends are women in their early 50s. I’m the youngest of them. There are things we just don’t discuss.

And for me there’s that twist too. I got divorced, and they didn’t know how to deal with me because they have stable marriages. Then I showed up with a younger man after two years, so they were like, oops. They put me away.

Then gradually they accepted me back into the circle. So things like sex, you cannot discuss in this kind of forum. It’s something you carry with you and you have nobody to talk to about.

And of course, the guy himself wonders what happened. At some point he asked me, have you lost interest in me? What’s going on? You’re very uncomfortable.

When it happens once, you start saying, can we let it be until next week, or the week after? And he’s like, what’s wrong with you?

For him, he just turned 40, so he’s like, yes, let’s do this. And I’m like… yes.

So I started researching to find a solution. Busy traveling, working, but I’m like, I have to fix this. I’m sure there’s a solution.

It cannot be chemical. It cannot be medical. I can’t have my bedroom always smell like a clinic. There should be something.

When it smelled like a clinic, I’d put scented candles and flowers to cover it, but it’s not the same.

Samantha:

Can I jump in for a second? Where did you get advice from? Did you speak to doctors, or did you do your own research?

Liz:

I did it alone.

If I went to the gynecologist, what would I be telling him again? I go once a year for my annual checkup, and you’re given a clean bill of health. Everything is fine, your pap smear is good.

So how do you start saying I have dryness? It doesn’t make sense.

So I started investigating, and thankfully there’s information on the internet, but then you have to decide what is what.

When I came across this product, I was curious. I thought, it’s a natural product. So I don’t run the risk, because there’s so many things out there being promoted.

There was an introductory sale, so I bought two sachets. I tried it out, and I was thoroughly impressed.

And it was magical. Absolutely magical.

Samantha:

How long did it take for you to notice a difference?

Liz:

Super quick. Day two I was like, wow.

No struggles. Nothing. It was really nice, smooth, enjoyable, fun.

To a point where my partner asked me, something is going on, tell me the news. How come you’re relaxed? How come this was enjoyable?

I told him, I got something that works very well.

Because initially, when the challenges started, we tried lubricants. He refused. He said this is not working.

And it was giving me complications because I’m sensitive. I’d get itchy or uncomfortable, and I’d get rashes. So I said, it’s not working, let’s stop.

Samantha:

When the problem started, was your partner supportive about trying different things?

Liz:

When I started experiencing it, I introduced the lubricant. He wasn’t comfortable with it for three or four months.

So we threw everything out. I decided I would find a solution myself.

For him, he was like, why do we need it, we are fine. But it’s me who was suffering. I wasn’t sure he realized how uncomfortable it was.

When I got this product, I was amazed that he realized the difference. That means he had noticed something was off, but he did not want to hurt my feelings.

And I love the fact that I can take control of it myself and not involve him.

I bought a pack of 10, and I have a drawer with it all in there.

Samantha:

That sense of control really matters, especially when life is already full.

Liz:

What’s interesting is that my country of origin lately has started having these conversations. People our age are beginning to feel these things.

My high school graduating class has a WhatsApp group, class of ‘92. Somebody started talking about hot flashes and foggy brain. I rarely contribute.

Then someone said, hold on girls, there’s something that has been bugging me, I need help. 

She said, in the confidentiality and comfort of my sisters who will not judge me, help me. I am suffering. I cannot be intimate with my husband because it is absolutely painful. It is very dry.

The entire group went quiet for two days.

I showed up and messaged her. I posted the product. I said, listen, this is magic. I have used it and I’m enjoying myself.

Immediately, she messaged me privately. She said, I’ve been suffering for the past two years. How come?

I told her, our bodies are different. Some get it early, some get it late. For me, I knew there was an issue.

And I told her my biggest challenge is I have a younger man who needs intimacy often, so I can’t keep giving excuses.

She said, can you please get me this product? I said, you can buy it online. She said, I’m in Africa, what am I going to do?

I was traveling for a family event. I carried two sachets for her and took them. I told her, as a friend, try this and let me know.

After, she told me it’s marvelous.

Samantha:

How did you first find HydraHer?

Liz:

I think the algorithm picked my searches. It started showing things for me on Facebook.

I was curious because it’s a natural product.

I had been looking for hormone replacement therapy because I was thinking maybe it’s because of hormones. The algorithm must have picked it up.

I ignored it the first time. Two days later it came back. I thought, why not try anyway? If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

And when it worked, I bought more.

I love that it’s natural. I love the packaging. It’s simple and nice. It’s by my bedside and nobody would figure out what it is. It’s discreet.

The lubricants, you can see what it is. But this is just a sachet. You wouldn’t know what it is.

And it worked quickly.

I’m also keen because I have other medication I use, so I wanted to ensure it didn’t conflict for me. I’m happy with the product. I’m comfortable.

And I can share it with others and say it worked so well for me.

Samantha:

If you had to put it into one sentence, how has it changed your everyday life?

Liz:

The biggest change is that I’m very comfortable in myself.

I do not have to worry about intimacy with my partner.

And I have full control without worrying. For me it’s fantastic.

The frequency of using it is not awkward. It’s straightforward instruction that works.

I feel good about myself that I’m able to deal with that aspect. It can be draining, especially when it’s an unspoken tension between you and your partner.

There are relationships where the conversation is open, but for some relationships it’s difficult. I talk about everything, but my partner does not. He finds it difficult to verbalize some things.

So I will take control and deal with my end, and just ensure everything is okay. It could become a source of other issues that I don’t want.

I’m very happy.

Samantha:

Thank you for your openness. I know this will help other women feel less alone.

If this feels familiar, I want you to know you’re not being dramatic, and you’re not the only one trying to solve it quietly. If you’re looking for a gentle, discreet way to support comfort, HydraHer is there to explore when you’re ready, at your own pace.